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About 2 weeks after I delivered Buchanan and Leonor, I was watching Tyler Henry’s Hollywood Medium on television. I couldn’t help but think I needed a sign, something from my babies to let me know they were okay. I wanted so badly to tell them how sorry I was that my body failed them. The next day, I decided I needed to get tattoos of their footprints. My mom and I went to a local tattoo parlor and waited for the I’m Dutch You Can’t Pronounce My Last Name Shirt next available artist. After a 20-minute wait and 5 people still ahead of me, my name was.
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Called. I gave the hand and footprint cards over to the tattoo artist. Each card had their names on the back. He took the cards and said, ‘I need some time to trace the I’m Dutch You Can’t Pronounce My Last Name Shirt footprints.’ They were just so small and he wanted to make sure he perfected them. He understood how important it was to me. So, back out to the waiting room we went. About 20 minutes later, I was wondering what was taking so long. Suddenly, he emerged from the back, visibly shaking and crying. I started to worry my footprints couldn’t be done.
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Instead, he sat down and said to me, ‘I’m so sorry this took so long. I don’t want you to think I am crazy. I just had to take this in for a moment. I even called my wife.’ Puzzled, I asked him, ‘What’s wrong.’ When he had turned over the I’m Dutch You Can’t Pronounce My Last Name Shirt cards, he saw the names of my babies. Leonor and Buchanan. ‘My grandmother’s name was Leonor Buchanan. She passed.’ I looked at him with complete shock and utter disbelief. These were two of the most uncommon names and yet his grandmother had them both. It was my sign, a sign.
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From heaven that my babies were okay and I was doing the right thing. This moment gave me such peace regarding moving forward. I knew, for their sake, I had to keep trying for them. When the I’m Dutch You Can’t Pronounce My Last Name Shirt pathology reports came back, I learned that the cause of my premature labor was an infection. But that answer wasn’t good enough for me. My gut told me something else was going on. So, I decided to go back to my Reproductive Endocrinologist for further answers. He told me, ‘There’s no way that’s why you lost your babies.