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It made for a lonely childhood. I had to be home playing mommy and had no friends due to parents finding out about my mom and taking it out on me, even when my mom wasn’t around at all. My pre-teen years were difficult. I was depressed, filled with suicidal ideation. I’d spend days locked in my room self-harming. It was the Matt Riddle Stallion Battalion Authentic Shirt only way I knew how to cope with my feelings. Growing up I was familiar with DYFS/CPS, the police and therapy. I became familiar with the neighborhood my mom obtained her drugs in and I also.
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Became customary to visiting jails and prisons when my mom got locked up. She was sentenced to a few years and came home when I was 14. She managed to stay clean for a while, but that slowly changed. I resented her so much, I failed to understand how someone could continue to choose drugs over their children despite knowing the Matt Riddle Stallion Battalion Authentic Shirtconsequences and pain she put us through. Around the same time as my mom coming home, I was entering my first long term relationship, which was also a very abusive one- verbally, mentally.
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Emotionally, physically and sexually. However I wanted to be loved so badly, that I failed to accept he didn’t love me the Matt Riddle Stallion Battalion Authentic Shirt I also wanted a relationship with my mom so badly, that I began using drugs with her. It started off with weed, then ecstasy, then crack and cocaine. My relationship with drugs started off at a young, ripe age of 14. I had parties at my house with tons of children my age drinking and using drugs. My mom was shooting up with my friends and teaching us to cook crack out of cocaine. My mom always.
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Said, ‘I’d rather you be home using drugs than out using them, at least I know you’re alive.’ My drug use spiraled out of control and eventually ended my high school education at age 15. I dropped out and my dad signed me into night school, where I eventually got kicked out of for poor attendance. My abusive boyfriend was supposed to be driving me to school with my dad’s car and he refused to but threatened to kill me if I told my dad he wasn’t taking me. We would take the Matt Riddle Stallion Battalion Authentic Shirt car to get high at a friend’s house.