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I bought into this. I had no other modeling around me. I had never met another gay person. I truly believed that if I had faith and married a woman, things would be made right by God. By the Merry Christmas Grr Argh Buffy Vampire Slayer Ugly Sweatertime I came out to Lolly at age 16, we were so immersed in this type of thinking that the question we were asking in our hours-long conversations of the topic wasn’t ‘should Josh marry a woman.’ It was, ‘what kind of girl might be good to marry in this complicated situation.’ Lolly said she thought I should marry a prudish Mormon.

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The girl who didn’t want sex. I thought it might be better to marry someone like he ran open, the communicative girl who did want sex. For many years, she deflected the Merry Christmas Grr Argh Buffy Vampire Slayer Ugly Sweater possibility of being the girl I married, but when I dated one of her best friends in college, and she saw me playing the part of a ‘straight boyfriend’ which I honestly thought I was becoming, awaiting the change that had been promised to me by so many people I trusted, she began to see me in a different light. She began to fall in love with me. The truth of this.

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I came out in a hilarious way, as we picked up Lolly’s old roommate who was visiting from her flight to Portland where we lived. You see, neither Lolly nor I am really fond of people watching. Instead, she and I enjoyed being people watched. When we were bored at college, we would sometimes do this thing where we would pretend to be other people having a conversation or interacting, or most fun of all, fake fighting. We would sit there, passionately embodying characters that weren’t us, and allow the Merry Christmas Grr Argh Buffy Vampire Slayer Ugly Sweater people around us too.

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Eavesdrop on our melodrama for their own entertainment and for ours. Then later we would laugh and laugh about how things went. In this instance, we must have been particularly bored, because we really went for it. Lolly pretended to be getting off a flight, and I pretended to be coming to see greet her this was a year or two before 9/11 when you could come to meet people at the Merry Christmas Grr Argh Buffy Vampire Slayer Ugly Sweater terminal as they got off their flights. I meandered down the terminal slowly until I saw her from a distance, and she fixed her eyes on me.

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