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Thankfully that relationship came to an end right before my 17th birthday. My drug use continued heavily until I was 17, when I got pregnant by my newest boyfriend of almost a year while on birth control. I immediately stopped using all drugs but unfortunately, my baby stopped growing at 12 weeks. I didn’t find out until I was around 16 weeks. I had to have a D&C and the Nana We Love You Shirt loss of the baby ended my relationship with the father. Shortly after I got pregnant again on birth control and went on to have my first daughter at.
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The age of 18. Two years later I had my second daughter, a year later my third. Shortly after having my third daughter, I was going through some severe postpartum depression and my mom took the Nana We Love You Shirt opportunity to offer me some heroin. She told me, ‘It will make you feel better. It will numb your emotions.’ Due to my poor state of mind, I took her up on the offer. I didn’t think I’d ever become addicted, after all, I hated my mom for what she did to me as a child and I was always able to just stop using when I wanted.
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How naive was I!!!! Within a week of using, my mom offered to shoot me up. ‘Snorting it won’t work forever. You’re getting used to it, that’s why you aren’t feeling it anymore. If you want, I can shoot you up, it’s so much better.’ I gladly accepted her offer, and that was the Nana We Love You Shirt moment I never looked back. I was now the person I hated most as a child; my mother. I’ll never forget that day. Standing in my mom’s bathroom as she looked at my arms for a vein until she found one. The rush was amazing. It was the most intense.
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Feeling ever. I was instantly hooked on shooting and knew I’d never look back. My addiction progressed fast, I slowly lost interest in life and taking care of myself. I slowly sold all my belongings and was deep, deep into addiction. I was losing everything I had and slowly destroying my life and my family. Every day I would pray for things to change and get better. Every day I’d pray for the Nana We Love You Shirt will to stop using and be a better mom for my kids but I couldn’t do it, no matter how much I wanted it or how hard I tried.