Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loved Dogs And Tattoos And Said Fuck A Lot Shirt

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In October 2013 we were once again pregnant. The lab tests and early ultrasound revealed a healthy growing baby. Each day we wondered worried that something would go wrong. Would we ever hold the Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loved Dogs And Tattoos And Said Fuck A Lot Shirt little baby growing inside me. It was very hard for us to let ourselves get too excited about this pregnancy. We were scared to get too attached only to be let down yet again. But my pregnancy was textbook perfect. As my due date approached, we dared to plan the birth of our child. I would labor with little.

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Or no interventions and then Dan would help deliver this little person that was growing inside me. He would wear a Go-pro camera so we could look back year after year and remember the Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loved Dogs And Tattoos And Said Fuck A Lot Shirt birth of our firstborn. On July 1, 2014, after days of being induced, many interventions, plus a few complications, Molly Mae Brown entered this world. Needless to say, Dan did not videotape the delivery of Molly. He was able to announce her gender and cut her cord. I was not feeling well after her birth, I was very weak.

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And tired. That precious time of bonding as a new family never happened for us. The moment after her birth that I had so longed for–the Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loved Dogs And Tattoos And Said Fuck A Lot Shirt intense emotion that I was supposed to have after she was born never happened. The immediate love I was supposed to have for this little person never happened. The feeling I was supposed to get when she first cried never happened. The love I was ‘supposed’ to have seen Dan hold our daughter never happened. Everything I had longed for never happened. The day she was.

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Born, I became a different person. Our hospital stay was routine. Dan and I worked on breastfeeding, sleeping, changing dirty diapers, and learning how to become a team taking care of this little human. I have a picture of Molly and me the Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loved Dogs And Tattoos And Said Fuck A Lot Shirt day after she was born, she was laying on my chest and we look so quiet, peaceful, and so in love. That picture doesn’t show the fear and anxiety that was brewing inside me. It hides the guilt I was experiencing and the negative thoughts that raced through my mind.

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