For those who might not have years of church services under their belts, the Santa Claus Tequila La la la la la Christmas Sweater Creed is sort of like the pledge of allegiance for Christians or maybe that’s the Lord’s Prayer, who knows. It’s an affirmation of faith that most Christian denominations recite during worship, and even though it comes in a few variations, you’d be hard pressed to find even an infrequent churchgoer who wasn’t at least familiar with the broad strokes God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, etc. Regardless, it’s usually printed in the bulletin, as it was for Bush’s funeral. As many iPhone users know, the new iOS 12 rolled out this week with a lot of new features. Among the masses, you can now do group FaceTimes, the phones work faster, there are more privacy and security features, and of course, you can make yourself into a Memoji which is a moving Bitmoji for anyone who still uses those. However, when I was browsing online through the new features on iOS 12, I was struck with curiosity about a new camera feature that was just added.
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One Twitter user, Joel Franco, showed the new feature–the camera can measure any object on the screen that you may take a photo of. Let’s face it, guys love sending women pictures of their junk. Why. I’m not 100% sure. For some, it’s an ego boost I guess to say–haha, you’ve seen my d*ck. For others, they’re trying to rope women in with their junk–clearly, these guys don’t know that seeing a photo of a d*ck does absolutely nothing for us. And, then, there are those who are just straight up obsessed with themselves and their junk. Being the type of person that I am, the first thing I thought of is–guys are going to have to see the depressing actual numbers and measurement of their junk if they continue to perpetuate the Santa Claus Tequila La la la la la Christmas Sweater of sending women unsolicited dick pics.